Success isn't just about what you want to achieve—it's about who you need to become. The person who builds a thriving business, maintains meaningful relationships, or transforms their health isn't just lucky. They've developed specific traits: focus, resilience, commitment, and the ability to navigate challenges. But here's what most people miss: these traits don't come from willpower alone. They come from a fundamental shift in identity.

I've always seen myself as someone who can handle challenges, someone positive, aspirational, and full of joy. That's my identity, and I work to ensure my actions match that vision. But I've watched countless people struggle because their self-perception doesn't align with reality. They see themselves as hard workers who were just unlucky, when the truth is they have a victim mindset. They believe they're putting in the effort, but others are simply more committed and work harder. This gap between perceived identity and actual behavior is where dreams go to die.

In Atomic Habits, James Clear outlines three levels of change that explain why some people transform their lives while others spin their wheels. The first level is outcome change—wanting more money, a better career, or improved fitness. Most people stop here, fixating on results without understanding the process. The second level is process change—identifying what needs to shift to reach your goals. Want to get fit? Start working out and eating better. Want to advance your career? Upgrade your skills and build relationships with decision-makers. Want to save more money? Automate deposits into your investment accounts.

But real transformation happens at the third level: identity change. This is where you fundamentally shift who you are and how you approach your goals. Instead of being someone trying to achieve something, you become the type of person who actually achieves their goals.

Clear illustrates this with a powerful example. Two former smokers are offered a cigarette. The first says, "No thank you, I'm trying to quit." The second says, "No thank you, I don't smoke." Same outcome, completely different identities. The first person still sees themselves as a smoker who's struggling. The second has adopted the identity of a non-smoker. This isn't just semantics—it creates profound psychological differences that affect behavior in countless small moments.

Changing your situation requires changing the way you approach life. The most effective way to do this is to shift how others see you and, more importantly, how you see yourself. When you catch yourself saying, "I'm not good with money" or "I'm just unlucky," recognize these as insecurities reinforcing a weak identity.

Identify the traits you need to achieve your goals. This might include determination, focus, the ability to handle difficult situations, willingness to ask for help, or specific skills and competencies. As someone who writes about mindset, navigating challenges, and achieving goals, my identity centers on being a writer, a positive person, and someone with a strong mindset. It's part of everything I do and how I see myself.

But here's the critical piece: your identity must match your actions. If you say you're positive but constantly complain, there's a disconnect. If you claim to work hard but others consistently outwork you, there's a disconnect. Every disconnect breeds insecurity and undermines your progress.

Don't prove your identity with words. Prove it through your actions and intentions. When who you are aligns with what you do, you become unstoppable.

What identity do you need to adopt to achieve your goals? Start today by acting as if you're already that person. Make one decision this week that reflects your new identity, and watch how it changes everything.