They say the future belongs to those who show up. That’s basically 90% of success, too. I mostly agree with this sentiment. However, you can’t just show up. Your body in a location isn’t enough. It's useless to be present while also acting disengaged, constantly on your phone, arrive with a rotten attitude or refuse to participate.

Showing up means being ready to work and do whatever it takes to maximize the results of your time, energy and other resources. If you want to lose weight, don’t stand around between sets at the gym to gossip with other people. You need to WORKOUT. The minutes spent at the gym are for a purpose. If you want to improve your marriage, you must foster an open and honest dialogue, be above pettiness, refuse to nitpick and never aim to win every argument (remember, retreat is not the same thing as losing). If you’re trying to advance a career, people will notice when you do the work, engage productively with peers and ask for help when required.

Showing up shows that you are ready to serve and are not consumed by petty gripes. We are all human, but that’s no excuse for letting everyday foibles throw us off our game.

What does “being present” mean? At the highest level, it’s about focusing on the immediate task at hand, whether that be other people in the room or even colleagues in a Zoom meeting. Being present doesn’t necessarily mean you could reach out and physically touch the person with whom you’re talking. Focused, engaged and present are all synonyms of this idea. It’s a struggle in the modern world to be “present” due to the myriad distractions bombarding our senses each minute. Technology, apps, news feeds, digital media, ringtones. Everything competes for your attention. Being present is like a muscle: exercising your focus to become stronger over time is critical for achieving success. How can you expect to be amazing when your reflex is to check Instagram every other minute? Don’t worry, all those notifications will still be there when your scheduled break arrives.

There’s another synonym for “being present” and that is “mindfulness.” But it’s more simple engagement or focus. Mindfulness is about being in tune with the experiences and feelings of other people. Successful mindfulness can seem to slow down time and open extra senses to the world around you. Watching birds in the trees, paying attention to your breath, noticing the subtle mood shift in others are all key methods of mindfulness.

I deploy mindfulness techniques regularly to help deal with negative feelings about my disability. The game is to escape from my own hamster wheel of thoughts to empathize with how others are experiencing life without a disability. Rather than become jealous of what others can do, I rejoice about all the ways they can bring joy to my life precisely because of what they can do. They see and experience this world differently, and that is a huge opportunity for me. It’s not selfishness, it’s cooperation. We fit together like so many puzzle pieces, no single piece rising higher than any other. As much as my disability is frustrating because I need so much help, I often feel regret that others are doing so much for me. But when am mindful, I can easily recognize their perspective and know when I am being overbearing. Then I can adjust my approach to return some balance to the relationship and create true cooperation again.

Showing up means being prepared.

Every time I have a meeting, I always come with a list of items to discuss. But I also arrive with a positive and joyful attitude which starts by asking everybody how they are doing. I genuinely want to hear their answers. It’s not a frivolous question. If they tell me about a frustration or a challenge, that doesn’t lower the positive energy. Just because something has negative connotations shouldn’t mean it is met with negativity. Being prepared means having a plan and sticking to it. I want to be present in any situation and display positivity. I will let nothing will bump me from that strategy.

No matter what is going on in your life, no matter how challenging your day might have been so far, that’s never a good enough excuse to put that weight on others. If you need to talk, that’s one thing. But don’t infect others with your mind-virus of negativity. It’s so deflating when others do this to you, isn’t it? They pull you into their mess and never give you the benefit of the doubt. It’s impossible to stop other people from lumping their negativity onto you, but the least you can do is have a plan to never reciprocate that action. If life is too overwhelming, maybe step back for a while and recharge. Again, retreating is not the same as losing. It’s often part of the push and pull of a life strategy.

Without a plan, there is no way to accomplish a goal. You can work hard, but with no plan it’s just frantic energy poured uselessly onto a treadmill. Some strategies are better than others. But every strategy necessarily involves lots of change. After all, if you didn’t need to change, you’d already be successful! Have you achieved your goal? If the answer is no, then there’s plenty of change still to make. A good strategy compels you to keep growing. Don’t get trapped in what the psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck calls a “fixed mindset” where your brain whispers sweet lies about how all the work is pointless and “it is what it is.” That’s poison. They wouldn’t call it work if it were easy. Sometimes your brain just needs a kick up the butt.