Wouldn’t it be nice if you were never tempted to cheat on a diet?

How productive would you be with zero distractions?

Wouldn’t it be nice to keep your promises?

 All the above is possible through a straightforward step: discipline. Did I say it was simple? Learning to discipline your emotions is one of the most challenging and frustrating tasks any person can do, but it is essential for success. When you think about it, the phrase “emotional discipline” is redundant. I really can’t think of any discipline that does not involve emotions. Emotions can be a best friend or a worst enemy; it all depends on you.

It takes discipline to avoid temptation when we are on a diet. It’s discipline that turns over the smartphone so you aren’t distracted by incoming texts. Discipline gets you up each morning at 5:30 AM to chip away at a goal. Even when you feel frustrated, even when you can’t find the answers, discipline pushes you forward. 

Pick any child and watch for a few minutes. Does it sound true that humans are born with discipline? Of course not. Discipline must be taught and modeled to children. What makes us human is the ability to learn and to be aspirational. We are born with emotions that never disappear but must be disciplined. The challenging part about being human is that undisciplined emotions tend to get in the way of achieving amazing success, and many dreams are haunted by not being as disciplined as we know we should be. If you have ever cheated on a diet, spent too much on shoes, or taken your frustrations out on somebody else, it was all due to a lapse of discipline. So, let’s try to understand what this term means. 

Simply put, discipline is putting your goals above your immediate desires. It’s long-term thinking. Some synonyms might be self-control, regimented, or just doing what you must do before doing what you want. Discipline is essential because success (or failure) is the sum of a series of decisions. The quality of these decisions determines the outcome, which in turn structures the quality of your life. Said differently, becoming disciplined at the small things can have hugely positive effects, like a butterfly flapping its wings in Brazil and causing a hurricane in Florida.

Discipline is the opposite of immediate gratification or short-term thinking. There is so much you could be enjoying right now, but at what cost? Most of the time, delaying gratification through discipline leads to greater rewards. Yet the temptation to eat that cookie is always there. It’s not about being robotic. It’s about having the discipline to put your long-term goals above the short-term goal of chomping down on that warm, delicious cookie. That cookie might offer immediate pleasure, but your discipline reminds you that greater pleasure is promised only if you hold the line.

That cookie is still sitting on the table, isn’t it? How easy would it be to wolf it down and compromise your diet regime? Look at it, sitting there all delicious and scrumptious. A bit of instant gratification can’t hurt, right? And what if you habitually repeat that behavior?

Wrong. Alternatives to whatever goal you are pursuing will always be more satisfying. But what satisfies us in the short term often hurts us in the long run. And, if you dig down deep, you’ll know this is true. Sure, skipping a workout might give you time to stream that cool show on Netflix, but at what cost for your health goals? More importantly, by succumbing to instant gratification this time, it becomes easier to repeat that behavior. But at least you can watch your goals fade into the rear-view mirror as you stream Netflix. Discipline helps you hold the line.

Good times/bad times

Remember that butterfly from a few paragraphs ago? That’s the shorthand for a mathematical idea called chaos theory. It’s the idea that life and the universe are surprisingly linear, which sounds strange since so many unpredictable things happen. But if you had a super-powerful computer, it’s theoretically possible to predict the ultimate consequences of any tiny movement.

There’s a lesson here about discipline. Your life will have plenty of ups, downs, and unexpected twists. At those moments, it’s easy to abandon discipline and give in to immediate gratification. But in truth, each “bad” or “good” thing that happens is just a consequence of your discipline. Everything that occurs in your life is because of the strength of your discipline. Remembering the principles of chaos theory can be enormously helpful for staying disciplined. Your brain isn’t a super-powerful computer, but it’s still accurate to say that even the tiniest step leads to an ultimate outcome. That’s a great incentive for staying focused, especially in the bad times.

Good times may be a source of distraction.  It’s important not to weaken your discipline during these times. Good moments are also part of the chaos of reaching a goal. Let me put it another way: why doesn’t anyone blame the Illuminati for good weather? When things aren’t going so well, it can be discouraging. When good things happen, it’s not a sign that you can rest on your laurels. It’s all part of the same process. Emotional discipline means staying focused on the goal no matter what happens.

To reach your goals, you must maintain a certain level of discipline. Your discipline will determine your success.